When you're a child, every birthday is a milestone. From playing "stack the Big Macs" at your sixth birthday at McDonald's, to your roller rink hoe-down at nine, to frenching Cody Johnson in the wood-paneled rec room closet at your thirteenth, they're all important winners. And if there's one thing you can count on for every single birthday, it's a mawkish, Raggedy Ann-emblazoned card from the grandparents so syrupy sweet, you're gently coaxed into a diabetic coma. Unless you're the child of Angelina Jolie. Then you're S.O.L. because Pappy Voight can't even tell the difference between you and a fully grown South American singer who has a penchant for singing about her hips and humble breasts.
Jon Voight took a break from gobbling up all available movie set scenery to attend the BAFTA Tea Party, and was caught on camera by the ever-present TMZ.com crew on the red carpet. He was asked about his estranged daughter and her three children, none of whom have ever met Voight and most likely think that their mother sprung fully-grown from the head of Zeus himself. The following exchange followed:
Voight: The kids, you know . . . Maddox just had a birthday. Happy birthday, Maddox! 5 years old–it's a big one! 5 years old; you're getting to be a young man. And I send my love to you, and I send my love to . . . uh . . . Shakira, and . . . Shahira . . . Shakira? Shaha . . ha? [To reporter] Is it Shakira or Shahira or Shahyra?
Reporter: Zahara.
Voight: Shahara! Shahara.
We can say with some degree of certainly that we did not give birth to Angeline Jolie; however, we can definitely tell you the names of all of her children, and that includes middle names. Three kids and their names, while slightly unusual, aren't too much to keep straight in your head. Only when Ang expands her rainbow-hued brood to gargantuan, confusing Mia Farrow-esque proportions does Voight get a pass.
You'll forget your own name when you see Angelina naked at MrSkin.com
