On The View yesterday morning, Paris Hilton opened her laquered mouth and doled out some unsolicited fashion advice to Britney Spears. Which is like the blind leading the blind. Or, in this particular case, the half-nakedly trampy leading the 1996 Rave shopper.
We don't make watching The View a habit, but Paris Hilton talking about fashion with Barbara Walters and Star Jones might have made for quite the morning jolt. Blast our lack of Tivo! Paris appeared to . . . we're assuming she was there to promote her new fragrance? It's unclear, but she was asked what she thought about Britney's infamous tearstained, air-quote-littered interview that aired last night. Paris opened the window of her glass domicile and tossed out a nice, solid boulder:
I think she could have dressed much cuter . . . She should have worn a really cute maternity dress and she would have looked beautiful.
Paris, sister, we hear you, but we've all been gently offering sartorial advice to Britney and her closet full of Palmetto for years now. It's falling on deaf ears, and after seeing her don a frayed stonewashed mini and a flowing pink top that barely housed her gargantuan blammos (OK, we're not complaining about that part), it's time to move on to Plan B. Please, Paris, grab Brandon Davis, a gram of pure cocaine, a bottle of Patron, and a few dozen paparazzi and launch into a lengthy tirade not about flaming crotches, but about the dangers of any articles of clothing fashioned from terrycloth. Or, at the very least, school her on the benefits on nip-slips. That will suffice.
Paris is burningly naked at MrSkin.com.
Britney is there too. Back in her hot days. Ahhhh, those were good times.
