That hooded, scythe-toting incubus Tom Cruise has lifted his Hubbardian hammer and swiftly driven the last nail into the coffin holding the precious, fresh-faced spirit of Dawson's Creek-era Katie Holmes. He's effectively snipped the very last tattered thread tethering her spirit to the round-cheeked small screen cherub we've loved all these years. Not only has he named her "Kate", she will be adopting the surname Cruise after they make their cursed union official in the eyes of the church. Of Scientology.
Name changes are the "hep" and "tubular" thing with the Hollywood kids these days! Puffy is now "Diddy" and Jay-Z has expressed that he wishes to be called by his Christian name, Shawn Carter, because he's pursuing business ventures overseas (the Euros, they don't understand "the rap", you see). Et tu, Katie Holmes? A source told In Touch mag that "Tom calls her Kate, so he suggested she start going by that professionally." And Katie herself had stated that adopting her future huzzy's surname is a tradition she's always been into. That's just super terrific, but pulling off a mid-career name change is a dangerous game, especially when you're adopting the moniker of one of the most famous humans on the terrestrial sphere. Can Katie pull this off with the grace and aplomb of, say, a mid-1980s Phylicia Rashad? Only time will tell.
(Wait, wait, wait. Isn't Tom Cruise's name actually Tom Mapother? Or has he officially switched to Cruise? How does that work? Is David Bowie's daughter's last name Bowie or Jones? If anyone can clear up this very important and pressing issue, drop us a line at tips@celebs.com, please.)
See Katie's Dawson's Peaks at MrSkin.com.
And cruise on Tom's stick shift at MaleStars.com.
Welcome to the World, Kate Cruise!
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