The elephants of the world appear to have joined forces with the shark community, united in their hatred of American celebrities. Together, these deadly beasts of the animal kingdom will not rest until they've torn the limbs off every man, woman, and Dakota Fanning in Hollywood.
Thank you, Contactmusic.com, for inducing a hearty chuckle from the depths of our sour, hungover guts with the headline: "Teri Hatcher Nearly Crushed by Elephants". Hee hee hee hee hee. She and her young daughter Emerson were enjoying a safari in Kenya recently when their guide was forced to take a detour after a group of elephants charged in a Jumanji-style stampede. Teri says, "I thought we'd be run down, if our Jeep had stalled we would be dead for sure." When asked to explain his species's actions, a spokeselephant named Bongo responded, "The bitch had it coming. Didn't you see Heaven's Prisoners? God, what a sack of fucking crap."
At least you can check out Teri's berries at MrSkin.com. Elephant-free. Promise.
Warning: Mad Elephant!
Previous post: Jessica Simpson’s Teenage Motherhood Dreams Thwarted by Law
