In a recent interview with GQ, Tom Cruise joked that he would like to eat his unborn child's placenta and umbilical cord. Take that, Woody Harrelson. You and your placenta soap have been totally faced.
Hate and love are the two strongest emotions humans can feel, and thus, are closely intertwined. We, being the fickle internet people that we are, drift willy-nilly betwixt the two when it comes to our feelings about certain celebrities. For example, we love to hate Fergie and Eva Longoria. And we hate to love Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton. Joining their esteemed ranks is Tom Cruise, a man so reviled that we've sort of come to adore him a teensy bit, especially since he's taken to jerking the collective bird of the media. GQ asked Tom about the upcoming hatching of the 15-month fetus stewing inside Katie Holmes's guts. In an uncharacteristic move (i.e. not involving the words "majestic" or "amazing"), Tom sassed,
"I'm gonna eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I'm gonna eat the cord and the placenta right there."
Now, obviously, Tom was joking, but the magic of successful jokes is that there is an air of plausibility to them. And can't you just see Tom, resplendent in a button-up oxford, boxers, and Ray-Bans, poised between the silently quivering thighs of his beardly lady love, catching the squalling infant shooting forth into his waiting hands? Ecstatically drawing the child up to his mouth, and with those great, glistening, paper white tombstone teeth, taking a joyous, nourishing bite out of the placenta, swallowing the cord in one gulp, and, overcome with the thrill of the moment, tearing the infant's head clean off in one manic, cackling chomp?
Pics of Tom? You got it. At MaleStars.com.
Kate Cruise is NAAAAKED at MrSkin.com.
