Thora Birch’s Creepy Dad Got Her Fired

Remember Thora Birch? She was the adorable little girl on Day by Day and then she disappeared, and then turned back up again as the adorable big-canned girl in American Beauty, then she disappeared again, and then the next time she turned up she was in Lifetime’s The Pregnancy Pact? What would cause just a flaccid career trajectory? Drugs? A rotten attitude? Lack of talent? In seems in Thora’s case, it’s a creepy dad, aka Joe Simpson syndrome. Popeater says:

‘American Beauty’ star Thora Birch has been fired from the off-Broadway revival of ‘Dracula’ for which she was rehearsing.

According to the play’s director, Paul Alexander, the actress’ dismissal from the production is unrelated to her performance, but rather the regular presence of her overbearing father at rehearsals.

Thora’s father Jack, a former porn star and the actress’ current manager, allegedly began causing trouble at the theater last week. The first incident, according to Alexander, involved Jack Birch peering through the window of a set piece at his daughter, who was working onstage. “I couldn’t believe my eyes and turned to a crew member and said, ‘Is that Jack Birch looking through the window at Thora?’”

The final straw, however, was Mr. Birch’s alleged threat to an actor who rubbed the actress’ back while rehearsing a scene. The unnamed actor, who insisted that he was simply following Alexander’s direction, was reportedly met with aggression by Birch [who] told the actor, “Listen, man, I’m trying to make this easier on you – don’t touch her.”

The next morning, Thora was promptly fired and she and Daddy were curtly told to leave the theater. Also:

Birch’s role will be filled by her understudy, Emily Bridges, daughter of actor Beau Bridges and niece of Oscar winner Jeff. Ms. Bridges is being replaced by actress Katharine Luckinbill, daughter of actors Lucie Arnaz and Laurence Luckinbill, and granddaughter of small-screen legends Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz.

We may have stumbled on the real reason for Thora’s dismissal here: unsatisfactory nepotism. Sure, her parents were in the business, but they were on the porn end of it. Her family tree boasts blow-jobbers and dog-stylers instead of Oscar-winners and comedy legends. She needs to be with her own people, acting in a Muncie summer stock theater production of The Human Centipede musical, costarring Connie Sellecca’s second cousin.

P.S. Whuttttt.

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Tagged as: plays, Thora Birch