Dear Prince,
Hi! Hi, Prince. How you doin’? Great, great. Listen, Prince, we’re all big fans of your work. We learned about dirty stuff through your songs when we were in elementary school, we made up dances to “Little Red Corvette” at recess, we got felt up on dance floors to “Diamonds and Pearls”. And you are so talented and also adorable.
But there’s a problem, Prince. See, we are not into your diva attitude. When you dine at Cuvee in Los Angeles and bring an entourage–well, we’ve come to expect that. But having your posse threaten and harrass other customers? Come on, Prince, that’s like Star Jones level crap.
Now, we heard that you arrived at the restaurant in your fancy SUV (not very eco-friendly, Prince!) with two burly security guards in tow. Fine, but did they have to have walkie-talkies? Did they have to order other diners to physically move their tables away from the bite-sized singer? Did they have to berate another customer, “Stop STARING at Prince!”? We were happy to hear that you and your goons cooled off when the restaurant owner stood up to you and told you to can it, but then we heard you only tipped four lousy bucks. And Prince, don’t tell me that was 20%, cuz there ain’t no way in hell your bill was 20 bucks.
Your friend forever,
CelebNewsWire
