Jessica Simpson is delighted and proud that she was able to wait until her wedding night to give up her maidenhead, because it was the "most amazing moment" of her life. So amazing that she had to immediately go and try it out with half the cast of Jackass. We kid, Jessica, we kid! (We think?)
It's been a while (a week? two?) since the Lacheys have felt the need to crow about the strength of their marital bonds in the press, and America's favorite living, breathing Sweet Magnolia Barbieô has unleashed a torrent of verbal diarrhea regarding her wedding night. Gushing about how her hubby wouldn't plant his flag in her moon crater before they were legal in the eyes of God, Jessica said, "There were moments where I'd be, 'OK, I can't, I can't, I've got to have sex!' You know when you're in the moment, you're passionate. And Nick wouldn't because he knew how much I'd regret it. He knew how much I would kick myself." Proving once and for all that Nick Lachey is, in fact, gay.
"Sex on my wedding night was the most amazing moment of my life," she continued. "Thunderbolts, lightning, the lot. As soon as it was over, I was raring to start again." You might think that sounds incredible, but she's being literal. There was an actual thunderstorm happening outside their honeymoon suite, and a bolt of lightning struck down in the empty lot next door. And by "raring to start again," she meant "immediately divorce Nick and take up with an experienced, virile man who doesn't have a tribal armband and never toured with B*Witched."
Jess goes jiggle at MrSkin.com.
