You know how the news of Katie Holmesís pregnancy made you want to get in the Wayback Machine with Mr. Peabody and Sherman and return to a time when babies were conceived during moments of pure lust that never involved a turkey baster? Well think of how Katieís poor devoutly Catholic parents feel about their poor baby getting kidnapped by a cult and premaritally impregnated. Theyíre not frigginí happy about it, thatís for sure.
Friends of the Holmes family and their fellow churchgoers seem to be a chatty bunch, as theyíve been blabbing to Life & Style magazine. A close friend said that ìTom had promised her parents that they would do the right thing and get married before any baby came along.î And when Martin Holmes heard of the pregnancy, ìHe said he and his wife were very upset by the news and demanded the pair get married quickly.î The source also claimed that Katieís papa scolded his little girl and told Tom, ìYouíre no good.î And even worse than a possible bastard grandchild, the Holmeses are worried about their daughterís involvement with Scientology. Another friend told the mag, ìIt seemed like Katie was being controlled by Scientologists. Now they wonder if itís a Rosemaryís Baby situation, where Katie is being groomed to provide Tom with a child.î All of the sudden we love any Catholic Ohioan who may have been responsible for that quote. For years weíve had nightmares involving Tom Cruise with a flowing cape and a pitchfork chasing us through the streets for miles until we finally succumb and enter the doors of the Scientology Celebrity Center, but we thought we were the only ones who thought that Tom Cruise was indeed the devil.
Oh, and in case you want to think only happy thoughts about knocked-up Katie, take a gander at these pics of her nipple proudly slipping out of her dress. They may be over a year old, but for some reason theyíre all over the internets today. And weíre never one to pass up a perfectly good nipple, no matter how old it is.
More of Katie's nipples at MrSkin.com.
And for those of you who perfer Satan, Tom's at MaleStars.com.
