Tara Reid had plastic surgery! And it was bad! This and other shockers (such as Teri Hatcher picks up her dry cleaning–but there's still a stain on her favorite blouse!) in the upcoming issue of Us Weekly.
Highlights from Tara Reid's surely compelling and life-affirming and . . . this isn't People, it's Us Weekly, so it's surely tawdry and shocking. Anyhow, highlights include:
On why she had plastic surgery in the first place:
ìI got my breasts done for the first time because my breasts were uneven. I was a 34-B, but the right one was always bigger than the left. I weigh 110 pounds now, but I always used to fluctuate by 10 pounds, so my skin was kind of saggy. I figured, Iím in Hollywood, Iím getting older, Iím going to fix them.î
On what went wrong:
ìFirst of all, I asked for big Bs, and he did not give me big Bs. He gave me Cs, and I didnít want them. At all. Right after the surgery, I had some bumps along the edges of my nipples, but the doctor said, ëDonít worry, itís going to be better.í But after six months of ëitís going to get better,í it started to get worse and worse.î
On being intimate:
"Guys I was dating would be like, ëWhatís wrong with them? They look really bad. You know, you should really get them fixed.í So embarrassing. I mean, you definitely need to turn off the lights, thatís for sure.î
On getting lipo:
"I got lipo because even though I was skinny, I wanted ñ Iím not going to lie ñ a six-pack. I had body contouring, but it all went wrong. My stomach became the most ripply, bulgy thing.î
This story makes us feel a twinge of sympathy for Tara, so though we brought you these facts in the name of journalism, we'll focus on making funnies about the following quote from the article:
I'm not always drunk. My picture is only taken when I have a cup in my hand. Trust me, my body is tired. I partied hard.
So have you got that, cruel and destructive gossipers and paparazzi? Tara is not a drunk. She used to be a drunk, but now she's just too damn tired. When you catch her with a drink in her hand these days it's because her doctor told her her blood is 70% Absolut and cranberry and she'll die if she doesn't get at least three drinks a night. It's under doctor's orders, people.
Check Tara's original breasts for saggy skin and unevenness at MrSkin.com.
