If you are under the age of fifty, you probably think that Steven Tyler resembles a transgendered, half-simian Tim Burton villain, but apparently if you have passed the half-decade mark and possess a vagina, your crusty juices start flowing for the dude who pretty much looks like a lady. Or so he claims. He says he's never, not even once, been turned down for sex, telling Elle:
Never. I'm a persistent motherfucker. I'm very sensual and very rhythm-oriented and into poetry. Women can feel that.
And just in case you still thought you were reading a classy fashion magazine and not Penthouse Forum, he continued with an oh-so-believable story about having his first "sexual experience" with teenage twins. When he was seven. Uh huh. He said:
They sat next to me in the church choir and took me home one day. We had a you-show-me-yours-I'll-show-you-mine session.
Steven, honey, the neighbor girl's Barbie dolls don't count. Although that would explain why your current face belies a deep-seated fetish with smooth, plastic body parts.
Comments
Comments… read them below or add one
"if you have passed the half-decade mark" you meant half century I'm assuming? Half decade would make you five years old and aside from that – its a highly offensive remark. Thanks, bye.
I won't lie. I would do him.
I’m not goin lie he is the hottest man on earth and whoever is makin fun of his appearcance
is rude! I LOVE YOU STEVEN!!!
I’m not going to lie either… STEVEN TYLER IS HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! You got to admit it. I would do him as well; any time and anywhere… In an elevator, in the back of a plane, you name it… ANYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!! Steven just gets hotter and hotter by the second!!!!!!!!!! OW!! OW!! No matter how old he is, I will do him!!! I have always wanted to meet him in person; doesn’t matter where; I just want to kiss him and hold his hand and be with him for as long as possible… Every waking moment is ruined without him by my side… I just hope that he will come to Marseilles, Illinois for just one day with no huge crowd following him everywhere he goes including the bathroom. Its just that I would like to meet him in person… I know, I know, I’ve said that already; but I just want to get the point across… If Steven Tyler ever reads this, just try to take this into consideration… O.K.??? I LOVE YOU STEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And remember… I am always waiting…
you people are pathetic fucks