We would have thought that in a meeting of the minds between Jessica Simpson and Pam Anderson the result would pretty much be a draw. But, boy, did we overestimate Jessica Simpson's brain power. As our drunk, senile grandpa used to say, "She's dumber than a pocket full of rocks."
We've been talking about the possible Baywatch movie for quite a while now, and we've even mentioned the possibility of Jessica Simpson taking over Pam Anderson's role for the film. And apparently Jessica's been doing a little research (and hopefully talking to her costumer to figure out how to cut that pesky middle section out of those horribly restricting bathing suits). According to London's Mirror:
Good job Jessica Simpson's got beauty because she's deeply challenged in the brains department.
The bimbette, who's been tipped to star in the upcoming Baywatch movie, bumped into Pamela Anderson last week and stunned her by asking: "How did you guys run so slowly in the show's opening scene. You know, where you're running down the beach?"
Pam, 38, who played the original CJ, was rendered speechless but after an awkward silence, patiently explained: "It was shot in slow motion." She even resisted the urge to add "Duh!"
We imagine that when Jessica heard she was up for the part of CJ she slipped into her Dukes of Hazzard red bikini and watched herself in the mirror as she practiced running really, really slowly. But there was just something off. The boobs didn't bounce right, the hair didn't flip correctly, and Jessica was thoroughly flummoxed. Then she noticed Papa Joe peering around a doorjamb and got distracted.
And since Pam Anderson has proven too intellectual for Jessica, The New York Daily News has found her a more proportionate companion.
When asked by Ocean Drive magazine writer Alix Sharkey what personality trait Eva Longoria hates in other people, her immediate answer was "ignorance." Then what characteristic does she deplore in herself? "Um, wait. Deplore means to hate something, right?"
Jessica's in a bikini at MrSkin.com.
But of course Pam is totally naked there.
And Eva's there too.
