Reports differ, but either Madonna or Ashton Kutcher is said to be the new face of a soon-to-be-launched "Kabbalah energy drink". Hmmm. If Kabbalah is a serious religion (and Madonna tells us it is), why do we not have Methodistmobiles or Presbyterian Flakes?
Madonna, Demi Moore, and her boytoy Kutcher are currently giving the drink a test run. It will be released first in California (natch) under the slogan "Source of Power", and if it does well, it will be launched worldwide, along with a slew of equally creepy Kabbalah products (We're especially excited about their "Magical Mystical Enema"–we haven't felt this unblocked in months!).
L.A. Kabbalah spokesperson Darin Ezra states, "We are going after the Red Bull market but Kabbalah Energy Drink tastes better. And it's infused with Kabbalah water, which is holy water. If it's successful, there will be more Kabbalah products." We know when we're out parasailing while in a kayak that turns into a mountain bike, we need that extra boost that only rabbi-blessed water can give!
