Sinead O’Connor, the chrome-domed, angry Irish ’90s singer who famously ripped up a picture of the Pope on SNL, has been playing some concerts in her native Ireland lately. As she eases back into the music scene, it sounds like she’s also easing back into the dating scene.
Sinead is 44 and divorced, with four children at home, and on August 20th, she posted a hilarious singles ad on her blog, searching for romance. Sinead’s list of requirements:
Am in desperate need of a very sweet sex-starved man.
He must be no younger than 44.
Must be living in Ireland but I don’t care if he is from the planet Zog.
Must not be named Brian or Nigel.
Must be blind enough to think I’m gorgeous.
Has to be employed. Am not fussy in what capacity generally but vehicle clampers need not apply.
Leather trouser- wearing gardai, fire-men, rugby players, and Robert Downey-Junior will be given special consideration. As will literally anyone who applies.
I like me a hairy man so buffed and/or waxed need not apply.
No hair gel.
No hair dryer use.
No hair dye
Stubble is a non-negotiable must. Any removal of stubble would be upsetting for me.
No after shave.
Must be very ’snuggly’. Not just wham-bam.
Must be wham-bam.
Has to like his mother.
Has to like his ex and or mother/s of his children.
Has to live in own place.
I must end now as I have a hot date with a banana
Applicants can apply through my secretary at firstname.lastname@example.org
Do you think you’ve got what it takes to be Mr. Sinead O’Connor?