Simpson Sports Posies on Her Pantaloons

Listen, would you please stop showing up to events that are attended by Jessica Simpson with cameras around your neck and mirrors on your shoes? First of all, you're not Pee Wee Herman, and furthermore, someone has already nabbed one of those coveted "upskirt" pics that seem to be so popular with the young people these days. And anyway, mirrors on shoes haven't been in since Hypercolor.

Take a looky-loo at these photos of Ms. Simpleton rocking the floral BVDs and the heavy-duty wax job. She seems to be concentrating so hard on keeping her big bouncing blammos firmly harnessed in that bodice that she neglected to keep her gams together exiting the car. Given the choice between boobs exploding out of a dress and a panty-clad crotch shot, we'd have to choose her wearing a dress secretly sewn up with metal thread and then having a merry band of rapscallions whip it off with an oversized magnet a la Screwballs. Wait, that wasn't an option? Aw, shitbuckets.

Jess flashes a touch more at MrSkin.com.

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