Simpson for Hire

Remember when you were twelve and you really, really wanted Tiffany to come to your birthday party and sing ìI Think Weíre Alone Nowî just for you? Too bad youíre not twelve years old now with parents who desperately need to buy your love, because for a mere $35,000 Ashlee Simpson could show up to your house and sing some crap about drinking milk up off the floor.

Ashlee Simpson has such deep love for her fans that sheís willing to take time out of her busy Fez-humping schedule to sing a few tunes for the absurdly wealthy. And we do mean absurdly wealthy, since Ash is charging by the song. Thatís right, that thirty-five grand wonít get you a whole set of off-key screeching and jig dancing by the younger Simpson, but only one song. Good luck trying to choose between ìLa Laî and ìPieces of Meî. The good news is you can cancel the clown you had scheduled for the birthday shindig. Ashleeís likely to show up in costume.

Tagged as: Ashlee Simpson, music