If Zac Efron stand-in Chace Crawford really wants us to believe that he loves sticking his wiener in ladies’ whoo-hahs, he should stop Shauna Sand from blubbering on about how she stole his lady flower. Cause we’re pretty sure no straight man’s touching that. Star reports:
“He was so incredibly beautiful — I immediately fell in love with him!” Shauna tells Star exclusively about meeting Chase at a college party in Malibu. The couple began dating “and I even gave him a key to my apartment,” Shauna said.
They quickly wore out a path to the bedroom. And though Chace has said he dated a girl for three years while in high school, a friend tells Star: “Chace told me, ‘Shauna was the first girl I ever had sex with! She blew my mind, and I’ll never forget it!’”
This is by far the smelliest story we’ve come across in a while. Just imagine what Chace Crawford/Shauna Sand sex must have been like. We’re imagining them both holding hand mirrors cooing to their respective reflections about how gorgeous their own mug is. Or maybe they had a set of Chace and Shauna masks made up and took turns having Chace/Chace sex and Shauna/Shauna sex. Then one of Shauna’s implants would leak and Chace would squeal and run to mousse his hair.
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Shawna Sand is officially the ugliest porn star out there. Chace would’ve been better off being deflowered by Jenna Jameson.
Cripes! Talk about setting your standards low. I can think of a number of chicks I want as my first and this broad ain’t one of them.