Charlie Tweeder Shows His Peter

It may seem that we discriminate in our coverage of celebrity nudity around here, but it’s not intentional. Sure, the CelebNewsWire archives have many, many more shots of exposed nipples and beavers than wangs, but that’s not by choice. No, we work with what we’re given. And what we’re given usually involves Lilo’s vulva or Paris Hilton’s assflap. When we do see a celebrity dick flopping about, we jump on it. Which we will now do with celebrity scion and D-list actor Scott Caan. After the cut, cock and balls.

Nice! We’re not exactly in Cisco Adler territory here, but those are some dangly balls. We’re thinking about tying them to a pole and playing a little tether ball. We’ve been so disappointed in the past with exposed celebrity wieners. Jude Law. Daniel Radcliffe. So maybe it’s just the British. Is that a British stereotype that we’ve somehow missed? Bad teeth, thinning hair, and teeny tinklers, is that the calling card of the English bloke? But anyway, seeing this photo made us wonder, other than son-of-James, who is Scott Caan, so we perused his IMDb page. Nope, nope, never heard of it, Jennifer Aniston movie nobody saw, Jessica Alba’s ass in a bikini, Ocean’s, Ocean’s, Ocean’s, oh! Varsity Blues! We’ve already seen his ass! Now we have a full set. Then of course we started thinking about former actor/professional booblehead Dawson and started imagining Scott Caan on the set of Varsity Blues, flopping his phallus all over the place, trying to bean The Beek in the eye, and The Beek getting annoyed and saying, “I don’t wohnt yer penis.” And then we laughed and laughed. And then we looked at Scott Caan’s dick some more.