It looks like Paris Hilton is having a bad week. Sources are claiming that her engagement to Paris Latsis has been off for months, she was caught in a lie about giving $6 million to relief for Hurricane Katrina, and sheís got the po-po after her for boozing up some kids. Plus, sheís still a skanky ho with a wonky eye.
We know, we know, it hurts. We all thought that the Parises had an otherworldly sort of love, like that of Johnny and June Carter Cash, and that theyíd have a brood of children and puppies all named Paris and die minutes apart, wrapped in each otherís arms, when they were eighty. It just seemed so right. But a source close to Latsisís family is claiming that the engagement has been off since July when the two families met up in Greece and man Parisís parents learned of lady Parisís filmed oral skills. The source said of the Latsises, ìFor their son to even think of marrying such a woman is an insult to the entire family. She simply looks like a promiscuous innkeeperís daughter to them.î A promiscuous innkeeperís daughter. Why have we never described lady Paris in this manner? Weíve been one upped by an anonymous source. We can never show our face at Koi again.
Paris recently made claims that she personally donated $6 million to Hurricane Katrina relief, but many people were understandably skeptical ($6 million on diamond-encrusted vibrators we could understand, but not on anything altruistic). So Radar Online did a little bit of investigating and found that a $6 million donation was made, but by the Conrad N. Hilton Foundation, with which Paris is in no way affiliated–meaning that a donation was made in the Hilton name, but none of the cash came out of Parisís doggy jewelry budget. Paris claiming she made the donation would be like us saying that since our grandma recently beat a man to death with her walker it means that weíre going to jail for murder. And that would just be crazy.
When Paris was filming The Simple Life: Interns she allegedly plied underage kids with weed and bourbon to get them to loosen up for the camera, and the scary men with the shiny badges have got it in for her. The Baltimore police are investigating the claims, which could earn Paris a large fine and some orange coveralls. One of the teens involved in the episode said, "She loaded myself and two other underage kids on shots of Jack Daniels to loosen us up for the show." The cops are worried about the effect of a couple shots of Jack on a very small number of underage kids, but theyíll do nothing to stop Paris from repeatedly flashing her vagina to photographers, who then show the death trap to the whole country? What kind of shoddy justice system is that?
Check out the promiscuous innkeeperís daughter at MrSkin.com.
