“You better hold on tight, spider monkey,” cooed the T-square jawed Robert Pattinson in Twilight. It was the most asinine movie quote in recent history, and it might just be prophetic too, because R-pattz has been shortlisted (more like short-bussed, AMIRITE!!!??) to take over for Tobey Maguire in the next Spider-Man movie. Take it away, OK!
Robert Pattinson is reported to be the top pick for a Tobey Maguire replacement for Spider-Man 4. We’ve seen him scale a tree, so he can probably handle some skyscrapers!
Right now, Rob has a pretty busy schedule working on his film Bel Ami with Uma Thurman in February and will also be gearing up to shoot The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn in 2010 as well.
Not to mention, there will surely be other competition for the role. Michael Cera and Chace Crawford have also reportedly been topping wish lists!
Yeah, the only choice worse than Pattinson would be Michael Cera. He would change Peter Parker from a news photographer at the Daily Bugle to a music reviewer at Pitchfork. Instead of fighting crime with superpowers, he’d bitch about how the latest Bonnie Prince Billy EP lacked the lulling waves of post-post-folk guitars and the conceptual ambiguity of his previous effort.
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OMG!!! No way are any of these HollyWimps possible to be Spidey… Michael Cera??? What Spiderman 4 – Spidermans closet homosexuality exposed???
Well, that ends my involvement on the Spider Man film bandwagon. I’ll be throwing my support to Iron Man and possibly Deadpool. Spidey’s biscuit is done, man!
That last movie was nearly unwatchable anyway. I do kind of like the idea of Spider-Man going totally gay, kissing on James Franco. Franco and RPattz making out would definitely sell tickets.
Might as well do ALPHA FLIGHT if gay superheroes are your thing. I wonder who’d play Northstar.
My vote: Michael Cera…
Taylor Lautner looks kinda like Northstar
Nah, he’s more like Shaman.