Rachel Uchitel Is Very Settled

rachel_uchitelNeed some extra spending money for some penny candy and the picture show? Maybe you should pork Tiger Woods. Rachel Uchitel placed his putter into her hole, and now she’s 10 million bucks richer. Yes, really. TMZ reports:

There were numerous reports Rachel settled on the brink of holding a Gloria Allred-style news conference for anywhere between $2 – 5 million.

But our sources — and they are good — tell TMZ Tiger was so concerned with the depth and detail of information from Alleged Mistress #1 that they folded like a cheap suit, and offered the huge $10 million sum in return for an ironclad confidentiality agreement.

Right now, Michelle Bombshell‘s pupils are turning into pulsating cartoon dollar signs and she’s dreaming about all the wonderful things 10 million could buy. Clip-on Bettie Page bangs made of caviar. Mink fuzzy dice to hang from her rearview mirror. An ever larger forehead tattoo to cover up her large forehead tattoo.

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Ralphimus April 1, 2010 at 10:08 am

Would it be the SScarlet letter A for adulturer… B for bith/bimbo or C for claymidia???

Decisions decisions…

I thought extortion was illegal??? Didn’t that guy that hit Letterman up for money get slapped by the courts???

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Luc Warm April 2, 2010 at 9:01 pm

I guess it wasn’t so ironclad, was it? I doubt it was $10m. If it was, Tiger’s a bigger dumbass than he seems to be. He can’t have imagined the disclosures would end with her.

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