Hey boys, it's me, Reese Witherspoon. Have you heard that I'm single? Oh, you have? And you also heard that I'm a colossal bore and a total bitch? Yeah, I heard that rumor was going around about me. But seriously, it wasn't me. It was Ryan. He always got mad at me if I smiled or drank champagne or asked someone how their mom was doing or anything nice like that. And meanwhile he was drunk and hitting on every girl under thirty and trying to moon everybody. So I dumped him. And now I'm single! Can't you tell by the dress? No more frilly princess dresses for me, no sir. I'm hot and available and I want everyone to know it. Which guys are hot and single? Gyllenhaal's out, if you know what I mean. Is George Clooney too old for me? No, I could pull it off. Or maybe Timberlake would be a better choice, publicity wise. C'mon boys, make your best pitch and I'll consider it.
Revisit Reese's pieces at MrSkin.com.
Reese Witherspoon Dresses as "I'm Single" Billboard for Globes
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