Underwear model Petra Nemcova was nearly swept away by the infamous 2004 tsunami. Although her boyfriend died tragically, Petra recovered nicely and went on to . . . date James Blunt. And the whole time she was dating James Blunt, we kept thinking, "Is this it? She was nearly smashed to smithereens under the weight of thousands upon thousands of tons of water and swept to sea, yet her life was spared . . . to become the concubine of a liver-lipped falsetto purveyor of craprock? We felt empty. Alone. We wandered the streets like moral vigilantes, searching our souls for meaning. Did God hate Petra, or did he love the soft-pop crooning of Blunt so much that he lifted her from the waves, like a phoenix from the flames, to inspire him and become his muse? We admit that at our lowest point we found ourselves curled in a closet, the cold steel of a .22 lodged in our mouth, "You're Beautiful" playing in the background. Luckily, Petra dropped that Englishman like a hot nugget of stool and has gone on to prove why her life was spared: she's super duper pretty. And wears dresses that show off her fantastic pegs, nearly riding up to show a sliver of Nemcova nether-cove. We've discovered new meaning in the beauty of living in these pictures. They're kind of like watching our Rudy DVD.
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