After her "devastating" breakup with Paris Latsis, Paris Hilton has wasted no time finding a new man and pissing off both Mary-Kate Olsen and Tara Reid. Girls, girls! Now, we all know there's only one way to settle this: pudding wrestling. Oh, wait. We're talking about Paris Hilton, Mary-Kate Olsen, and Tara Reid? Then we mean: girls, girls! Now, we all know there's only one way to settle this: throw you down a mile-deep pit and have you tear each other limb from limb. Or starve to death. Which wouldn't take long.
Oh, we kid, we kid! We kid because we love each and every one of you beautiful girls.
So, it's no secret that Paris Hilton, despite her assertions that she has a shy cooter and doesn't like doing it, likes doing it. With boys. Lots of them, and different ones. A mere couple of days after breaking off the engagement with supremely wealthy, monkeyfaced Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis, she was spotted mashing face at L.A.'s Spider Club with supremely wealthy, freaky giant Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos, who was supposedly hot and heavy with human quilting needle Mary-Kate Olsen. "They [Paris and Stamos Nachos] made out all night," a source told the New York Post. MK is apparently highly upset with her supposed bud Paris, and Stamos Nachos's family is sure to be mortified when they hear he hooked up with the girl in the porny night-cam video–allegedly, Mary-Kate was considered too high-profile for the private Nachos clan to stomach.
And speaking of 1 Night in Paris, our favorite gently retarded alkie, Tara Reid, is blasting Paris as being "stupid" for allowing herself to be taped while humping. Hear now the pot blackguarding the kettle: "What she's done in her career and what I've done are two different things. I've never done porn. I've never made one. I'm not stupid enough to put myself on video." Stupid enough to film herself porking? Maybe not. Stupid enough to allow a robotit to fall out of her dress in front of hundreds of cameras? Stupid enough to let her Ore-Ida whipped potato caboose fall out of her skirt? Stupid enough to let Taradise exist? Yes, yes, and also yes.
Paris is burning. And naked! At MrSkin.com.
Paris Likes 'Em Rich and Greek; Incurs Olsen Wrath
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