Paris Hilton's Port-a-Porkin'; Plus, Liesmore 'bout Sizemore

After its engagement-induced period of relative hibernation, Paris Hilton's vagina is hungry once again. Hungry for Greeks bearing gifts. Penile gifts.

With her blossoming, hormonally charged new romance with erstwhile Olsen swain Stamos Nachos, Paris Hilton is apparently trying to write a few new verses to the classic Ludacris jam "What's Your Fantasy?", doing it up all over the beach! On four-wheelers! And . . . in a port-a-potty? According to our gossip maharishi FemaleFirst, yes! At a recent "exclusive Hollywood party," the umber-hued heiress was so overcome with lust for her Greek Goliath that the pair got a portajohn a-rockin'. Um. Have you ever been in a port-a-potty? It's an open, unflushable hole full of other people's feces. Not exactly the type of softly lit romantic setting that inspires warm and tender feelings, but when it's feeding time in Paris Hilton's drawers, one must satiate the beast.
Jeepers, did someone say "beast"? Normally, such a word brings about mental images of your Russell Crowes or perhaps your Gerard Depardieus, but it could certainly also refer to Tom Sizemore. And remember when he said that he used Paris for a dong-cozy, and she fired back with a statement that "He is not an acquaintance of mine"? I dunno, looks to us like she might know him. And who knows what's going on due south of that photograph? It's entirely possible we're looking at actual coupling.

You already know this, but Paris is butt naked at MrSkin.com.

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