And now let us pause to take a look into the vast wastelands of Paris Hilton's mind: "People still don't think I'm a good person who, like, helps people and stuff. Didn't they see me holding that baby that one time? That's good! That baby had probably never seen anyone as pretty as me and will remember my beauty for the rest of its life. I'm totally one of those things, what's it's called? A good sammytan? That is so me. I went to jail! Doesn't anybody remember that I lived without makeup and bikini waxes and lattes and mani/pedis for 23 whole days? That's, like, two months or something. And only good people go to jail, so I must be good. But nobody believes me. What can I do to make everybody think that I'm good like that boring Angie Jodie lady with all those kids? Maybe I should help some orphans. Adoption would be really hard, and babies are no good at shopping anyway, so they'd be no fun. Maybe I could give them something. They usually have really ugly clothes cause they have to shop in those gross stores that sell, like, food and tools and clothes all in the same place, so I'll give them those old things I don't like anymore. That's totally selfless and mature and, like, for the love of the children, right?" According to Contact Music, Paris said:
ìI have, like, a million clothes and more than 500 pairs of shoes, so I'm going to give a bunch of them to orphanages and children's hospitals. I never wear something twice.î
Those clothes will come in handy during the orphans' favorite game, Dress up Like Your Favorite Celebrity Whorebag. Some of the kids have gotten really skilled at using a lipliner pencil to draw herpes sores.
Comments
Comment… read it below or add one
Better yet, they can take her shoes and go canoeing.