We have never believed one single word that has come out of the mouth of Paris Hilton. Whenever she said, "That's hot," we thought, "That's not even as hot as a polar bear screwing a penguin." And to our knowledge she has never said, "My cooch smells like a year-old bag of Doritos." That we would believe. So whatever crap she's spewing today about whether or not she met and/or boinked Tom Sizemore pretty much sounds like "Abracadabra Kal-El Shazam!" to us.
So Tom Sizemore claims he banged the hell out of nineteen-year-old Paris; Paris claims she not only didn't give up her lady flower to him but doesn't even know him; a picture surfaces of Tommy and Pare-Pare together; Paris's hired help tries to make it look like they didn't lie their asses off. Her flack released this statement: "We never said she never met him. She never slept with him and he's not an acquaintance of hers. She doesn't even know who that other girl in the photo is. To me, 'acquaintance' means that you're not friends; you've met in the past but that's pretty much it. She doesn't remember the party at all." Um, wait. "'Acquaintance' means that you're not friends; you've met in the past but that's pretty much it"? If Paris was in a photo with the Heidi Fleiss porker doesn't that mean that they've met in the past? And so when she said, "He is not an acquaintance of mine," wasn't she lying? Paris really needs to start employing people who have a basic grasp on rudimentary logic. Also, she needs to realize that just because she doesn't remember something doesn't mean that it didn't happen. We're sure most of her sordid couplings with snooze bag Nick Carter were instantly forgettable, but that doesn't mean that Paris is a Backstreet Boy virgin.
Paris is still naked at MrSkin.com.
Paris Hilton: "I've Never Met Tom Sizemore. Also, I've Never Starred in Amateur Porn."
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