Guess What Paris Hilton's Thinking About

Subtle, Paris, reallllly subtle. Was a cat not available for the photo shoot? Could you not find a skywriter to scrawl “Come take a big ol’ bite of my pussy” above your head on short notice? Cause we’re pretty sure that’s exactly what this photo says. Not, “Hey, pretend it’s 1988 and buy some super hip Guess clothes.” Nope. “Stick it in, big boy. Pick a hole.” That’s it. We’re actually starting to think that Paris has an unfortunate medical condition deserving of some sort of telethon. Unless that perpetually slack jaw is a look she’s cultivating, which is just sad.