Paris Is Too Sexy for Her Warm-Up Vest

While trying in vain to find a Sexy Lady Story to lead off your Tuesday, we came across these new pictures of skew-eyed ninny Paris Hilton shilling for sportswear. A sort of bikini is involved, which makes this lead story-worthy, especially on an otherwise dry day, nipple slip-wise, though the entire shoot appeals more to our funny bone then our bone bone. The graphic print, puckered halter top. The almost bike shorts. The oversized gold-tone jewelry and the kicky athletic vest. It's like we've taken a time machine to the back cover of YM circa 1991. If it weren't for that little FILA tag, we'd be sure Paris was donning Body Glove gear Vernon Reid style. Maybe the guy is wearing a Salty Dog shirt under his warm-up jacket. All that's missing: two-color fold-over Converse and an oversized Fido Dido sweatshirt.