Get ready, kids, itís retraction time! So apparently Jennifer Aniston hasnít even had an interview with Vanity Fair yet, let alone admitted Brad Pitt had hot, wild, cheating sex with Angelina Jolie. And on top of that, Bam Margeraís ex-girlfriend totally lied about Bam f-ing Jessica Simpson. If there was any extramarital humping going on in either of these situations, no oneís truthfully admitted it yet.
We thought Jennifer Aniston had finally told the world what we already knew, but it seems that someone made up the whole damn thing. There was no Vanity Fair interview. Jen has admitted nothing. Brad and Angelina can go on pretending that all they care about is the children–the African children–and not each otherís superhumanly perfect and sexy genitals. Order is restored to the world.
But in the case of Bam Margera and Jennifer Rivell, two people who should just stick to Jackass reunions and MTV cast parties and leave us the hell alone, it was all about the money. Radar reports that the two were in cahoots (yes, cahoots) to milk Star for a heap of cash and bring shame to the totally innocent and virginal Jessica Simpson. A source told the mag about the night that the supposed Bam humping went down: ìEveryone slept at Jessicaís, but no one slept with Jessica, except maybe her little dog.î So basically what we have here is two people seeing an opportunity to grab a little attention (ëcause getting shot in the balls with a BB gun was getting kind of old) and take home $8000 courtesy of Starís ìjournalistic ethicsî. Plus, have you seen Bam? He probably just wanted the world to think that a funny little troll such as himself could score someone as hot as Jessica Simpson. Given the opportunity, youíd do the same thing.
Jennifer Aniston–still not talking but showing her boobies at MrSkin.com.
Jessica Simpson's looking hot at MrSkin.com.
