Olivia Wilde Is Dating Jake Gyllenhaal Only Probably Not

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"House's cantankerousness has gone TOO FAR!"

Come with me. Let’s chart the past six months of Olivia Wilde‘s love life. Febuary, she cuts her mustiline prince husband free. Early April, she’s wrangling Justin’ Trousersnake. Then comes the honey badger denials. Late May, she’s doing Bradley Cooper. Either the tabloids are exaggerating flirting and platonic hangs or Olivia Wilde is the new Blanche Deveroux. The latest fictional feather in her cap? Jake Gyllenhaal, says People.

The two were very flirty [at the Chateau Marmont], an onlooker says, acting “touchy-feely.” Says the onlooker: “At one point, he had his hand on hers.” Still, the two weren’t overly affectionate with each other. “Olivia was very cool,” the onlooker says, “and wasn’t fawning over Jake but seemed to like the attention he was giving her.”

That’s the story. That’s it. Under the headline “CAUGHT IN THE ACT!” In the act of what? Discussing the crispness of the crudites at the snack table? I’ve had sexier-sounding conversations with the valet. “Yes, that is my Mercury Sable with the Beanie Babies in the back window.” (winks, caresses hand while passing off keys)

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