"Oh my God, Tara Reid fell on me."

Sometimes we hear stories that make us wonder why we donít attend more events like club openings in Las Vegas. Then we remember that we werenít invited because we are an ugly and fat nobody and then we cry and cry and eat some Double Stuf Oreos until we hear an embarrassing story about Tara Reid and thank the God of Kabbalah that at least we are not her.

Weíve heard stories of poor surgery-marred Tara Reid being undeserving of Usherís time in the past, but we mistakenly thought that she would get the hint that not even an orgy-loving freak machine like him can pretend to be interested in the slurs coming out of her mouth. But, alas, the quivering pile of cherry Jell-O that stands in for her brain is just too hard to penetrate. According to The New York Daily News, Reid suggested that Usher should write a song about her. Unfortunately ìSaggy Boob Ho-Bagî just doesnít have a good ring to it. A source said that Usher "looked terrified and slowly backed away." And what may be even better than scaring a man who never met a nine-person pile-up he didnít like is the Daily Newsís report of the most-uttered phrase of the night: "Oh my God, Tara Reid fell on me."

Pretend Tara is falling on you at MrSkin.com.

Tagged as: Tara Reid, Usher