The problems in Nicole Richie’s personal life have nothing to do with Vicodin or pot or a severe lack of caloric intake or her newfound love of faux punks–she’s been cursed. Thank you, Nicole, for introducing us to 2007′s new “I’m a fuck-up” catch-all excuse. It’s the new exhaustion!
Reports The San Francisco Chronicle:
Nicole Richie has reportedly hired the services of a shaman to help rid her of the bad luck curse she fears hangs over her.
The socialite has told friends she’s convinced all her 2006 troubles, which culminated with a pre-Christmas driving under the influence arrest, came about after someone in her social circle “hexed” her.
Determined to break the purported spell, Richie had a witch doctor perform a $1,000 spiritual cleansing of her West Hollywood apartment on December 15, according to Life & Style magazine.
An insider tells the publication a shaman chanted, danced and burned sage in every room of the star’s home for two hours.
The pal says, “She’s very superstitious and believes in this stuff. It’s a very personal thing for Nicole.
“Nicole believes in curses but would never put one on anyone, not even her worst enemy.”
We have no doubt that the evil voodoo madam behind Nicole’s troubles is none other than Paris Hilton. Sure, she likes to portray herself as giggling and girlish and innocent and possessing the brain capacity of a tsetse fly, but we think it’s all a ruse. Her mind is actually quite adept in the ways of evil. On those rare nights that Paris isn’t alerting the paps to her every whereabout and trying to situate her wonky eye in the most flattering light, she’s at home plotting the downfall of every blonde in Hollywood. For Nicole, it’s a voodoo doll made from that old Regurgitating Gertie doll, making Nicole incapable of actually digesting any form of nutrient. For Britney, it’s a little faux complimenting in the form of “Gee, Brit, your poon is really pretty. You should show it off more.” We’ve already glimpsed Paris’s next potential victim, Elisha Cuthbert, but how long will it be before Paris is the only blonde left in La-La Land? Those Simpson girls and Hayden Panettiere better invest in some good security.
You can find a pre-hexing Nicole at MrSkin.com.
