Usually when we see pictures of celebs wearing blousy shirts to hide their bloated stomachs we tend to believe that they've just stuffed themselves full of a carne asada burrito, half a dozen jalapeno poppers, three baskets of chips, and a pitcher of margaritas. But as we're talking about Nicole Richie here, and that approximates 2007's entire dietary consumption, tex-mex bloat is not the likely culprit. So could she actually be pregnant? We think we learned something in eighth-grade health class about needing to menstruate to get knocked up, and we're pretty sure Nicole hasn't caught a crimson wave in at least three years. So the only logical explanation here is that Nicole has landed a role in the movie mash up Alien vs. Arthur, in which a soused and slurring Arthur (with Colin Farrell filling in for the late Dudley Moore) tries to defeat the alien living inside of Nicole's stomach by pickling it in vodka. Yes, that's gotta be it. But on the off change that Nicole is carrying a fetal faux punk in her teensy tiny womb, it'll totally get her out of going to jail. Humanity sure is lucky that Paris Hilton didn't come up with that strategy first.
Page Six reports:
NICOLE Richie is being coy on the question of whether she's pregnant, but a good pal of hers says she's definitely carrying Joel Madden's love spawn. "Nicole is kind of hoping her pregnancy will keep her out of jail," the friend said. Richie is facing time due to a DWI arrest earlier this year. But friends are concerned and "wondering if she can carry the baby to term because of her weight issues," we're told. A rep for Richie didn't return calls.
We know California is a weird place where you can smoke pot if you've got a cold or diarrhea or something, but we've never heard of any law that makes preggo ladies immune from jail time. What we have heard of are sexy babies, and getting a head start on slimness by only consuming ten calories a day in the womb means that baby Richie-Madden will be the sexiest baby of them all, chasing Shiloh and Dannielynn around the playground and calling them fat. Except she won't actually be chasing them, she'll be passed out under the jungle gym gasping for oxygen, too weak to move, pointing her pixie-stick-sized finger at her rivals' toddler thunder thighs.
Find more pics of possibly inseminated Nicole at Celebrity Babylon.
And good ol' pole Nicole is at MrSkin.com.
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good looking person