We know you love nothing more than up-to-the-minute reports on the occupancy of celebrity uteruses (uteri?), mostly because you really love looking at pregnant ladies' milk-swollen cans. Unfortunately the news of Nicole Richie's and Christina Aguilera's knocked-up conditions will do little for your celebrity-breast-ogling habit, as Christina's taut plastic pontoons are likely incapable of housing any sort of natural baby-feeding substance, and even if Nicole were to tote around a year's supply of jug juice she still probably wouldn't fill out your twelve-year-old niece's training bra.
Christina's pregnancy has been "confirmed" by both E! and a random CBS affiliate. Such reliability. The latter even dug up a source that any sane person would have to believe–the father Christina hasn't spoken to in years!
Christina Aguilera's estranged father has confirmed the pop star is pregnant with her first child."The Fighter" singer has yet to talk publicly about reports she's with child and her representatives are refusing to deny the news, but proud grandfather-to-be Fausto Aguilera is all smiles.
He tells the magazine Life & Style, "I'm so excited. I want Christina to achieve all her goals. I wish her all the happiness in the world."
Well, you convinced us, Fausto! Maybe you should give Jon Voigt a call, have him explain what your life's going to be like from now on.
And TMZ swears that some really, really trustworthy people told them that Nicole is definitely all full of faux-punk fetus. But they also claim that Good Charlotte Jr. won't keep Nicole out of the big house. But Nicole shouldn't worry about giving birth in prison; once the fetus reaches its seventh month and outweighs its host mother, Nicole will surely be allowed to leave her cell and be sent to the much more luxurious hospital wing, where she will be treated for exhaustion and sever back pain with a Balance bar, a jar of Snapple, and a nice long bed rest.
Richie gets itchy–for sexiness–at MrSkin.com.
And Christina does some stuff there too, but nothing rhymes with Aguilera.
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Christina Aguilera is the coolest singer on earth. She is fantastic!!