Good day. It is July 7, 2009, and Michael Jackson is still dead. In fact, cuz is going to be memorialized today. And you can watch it live on TMZ! Because a century ago, when the greatest minds of the time were inventing things to propel us into the space age, this is what they had in mind. Technology advancing to a point where people could watch a bloated sing-and-dance-a-thon honoring a reanimated bleached eunuch from the comfort of our own homes and workplaces! Thanks, forefathers! We're doin' ya proud.
We're going to honor Michael in our own way. By posting this picture of his children's surrogate mother Debbie Rowe inseminating her horse while wearing a T-shirt depicting a soulful wolf in front of a full moon.
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I foresaw all this happening hours ago.
She's wearing that terrible Three Wolf T-shirt that's become an ironic hit on amazon. That just adds to the funny.
Something tells us Debbie isn't wearing it ironically, which is magic.
This ironic wolf shirts thing is dicked up. For real.
We're betting Deb also has non-ironic dreamcatchers in her home. More than one, surely.
What of perverse, twisted, hellish, apocalyptic nightmare visions have they caught in their magical nets?
Gardens of nocturne, forbidden delights, reins of steel (and it's alright), and cities on flame with rock and roll!