After patching up our tinfoil hats, storing our children safely in a well, and duct-taping pillows to our person, we have emerged from our hastily assembled Celebrity Scandal Shelter to assess the Mel Gibson Drunkgate fallout. We weren't surprised to learn that he'd been charged with misdemeanor drunk driving, but finding out that in addition to blaming the Jewish population for the world's problems, he has, in the past, made several inflammatory comments about gay men, stating that not only do they engage in anal sex, but the aforementioned anus is used to eliminate solid waste from the body. Sacre bleu!
The backpedaling has begun! After Mel's heartfelt apology yesterday failed to sway public opinion in his favor, he's swiftly switched tactics, opting for the classic and usually effective "I did it because I hate myself so" excuse. Brava! A "source close to" Mel came forward and told LA Weekly reporter Nikki Finke that the star
was really on the verge of suicide because he felt he was helpless to alcohol and didn't know what to do about it. That's why he was driving around 90 miles an hour. This was a death wish. If that cop hadn't stopped him, this guy was going to be wrapped around a pole. This is such a bigger issue than "Will he work again?" This is about his not wanting to live anymore. I've seen what he's gone through and what he's going through. You have to understand the disease of alcoholism. He was back in it. There's no doubt in my mind he was trying to kill himself that night.
Leslie Sloane Zelnick and other megapublicists take note: THIS is the way to divert attention from a scandal, not a weary, disgusted denial. Completely ignoring the anti-Semitic comments and going straight for the public's tuggable heartstrings with a tale of disease and self-loathing is as golden as Mel's Oscar.
In a semi-related story, MSNBC brings us more proof that Mel takes issue with certain groups of people, bringing up several instances of unkind words aimed at the gay community:
When Spanish newspaper El Pais asked Gibson about homosexuals, he shot back: ìThey take it up the ass.î Then pointing at his behind, he said, ìThis is only for taking a shit.î He told the reporter that he was once worried that if he became an actor, people would think he was gay. ìBut with this look, whoís going to think Iím gay?î he asked. ìIt would be hard to take me for someone like that. Do I sound like a homosexual? Do I talk like them? Do I move like them?î After some people were offended by his comments, Playboy asked him if he would apologize. ìIíll apologize when hell freezes over,î he said. Later, when the Washington Post asked Gibson if he was ìtolerant,î he replied: ìAhhh, I like to think I am. Perhaps Iím not.î
Perhaps not, sugar tits. Perhaps not.
Mel used to be a charming young man. Relive the magic at MaleStars.com.
