Humans have been striving for immortality for centuries, so it’s kind of weird that the key to staying alive has finally come to us from the pretty much vacant mind of Megan Fox. What’s the secret to never-ending life? Just listen to Britney Spears all the time. The universe wouldn’t be so cruel as to make someone die while listening to “If U Seek Amy.” Says the prophet Fox:
I developed [a fear of flying] when I turned 20. All of a sudden I got really afraid to get on airplanes. I had to come up with a way to deal with it because I didn’t want to have panic attacks every time I get on a plane. I know for a fact it’s not in my destiny to die listening to a Britney Spears album, so I always put that on in my [headphones] when I’m flying because I know it wont crash if I’ve got Britney on.
We wonder how much of her destiny has been revealed to Megan. Can she see the direct-to-video movies opposite C. Thomas Howell? The softcore porn? The really, really cheap and obvious plastic surgery? Because we can see all of that pretty clearly. Just give her ten years.
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Blarrghhhh!! I think I’ll take the plane crash.
OOOO-Kay! I think we’re forgot our Happy Mood Pills, haven’t we, Ms. Fox. The doctor said you have to take them to keep those voices in check, or we might have to commit you again.