Katie Holmes has a type. And that type is megalomaniacal tryhards who talk a little too loudly, smile a little too hugely, and stare and you with all the intensity of a thousand burning suns. Before hooking up with King of the Little People Tom Cruise, she dated Chris “alpha heterosexual” Klein. Today, someone leaked Chris’s audition for the movie Mamma Mia! and it appears to be a joke, but I’ve seen American Dreamz and Rollerball* and don’t think Chris possesses the talent or brains to pull off believable comedy, so let’s just hope the comedy is completely unintentional. My goodness, he’s bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I wouldn’t come right out and say he was on cocaine, but I heard Chris tried to convince Lindsay Lohan that his nose was a foot so he could sniff her shoes.
* I have not seen American Dreamz and Rollerball.
UPDATE: NBC Universal’s lawyers took down the video, probably because they hate fun and laughter.
UPDATE 2: Hee hee hee! It’s back!
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WTF?!! (NOTE: As I ask this eternal question, I am raising my eyebrows until the shoot past my hairline and touch the ceiling fan slowly revolving above me.)
WTF…OMFG!!! Horrifying!!!