You'll all be happy to know that Madonna is recovering swimmingly after a very recent hernia operation. That's right. Hernia operation. The most famous woman in the world, the queen of sex, ripped a hole in her abdominal wall, which causes her intestines–her fecal highways–to spill through. Yeah, good luck with that whole "masturbating to fantasies of Madonna" thing in the future.
Who gets hernias? Old men. So yes, basically, we're calling Madonna an old man. She had a minor operation to repair her hernia last week, which didn't stop her from attending the Brit awards with rumored-to-be-on-the-outs husband, failed movie director Guy Ritchie.
Yahoo! News talked to Dudley Rogg, director of the British Hernia Centre clinic, who assures us that a hernia is not caused by physical activity, so Madonna's strenuous fitness regimen is not to blame. Rogg said that, in layman's terms,
"A hernia is a mechanical breakdown of the tummy muscles."
T . . . Tum-mee? Tooomay? Please, Doc, enough with these confusing, impossible-to-pronounce clinical terms. We're all torn up about Madge's condition enough as it is; there's no need to double our pain by making us try to read Latin.
Madge! Naked! MrSkin.com!
