We never thought we'd get the opportunity to do two stories on Hilary Duff in as many days, but when she admits she's a big fat virgin we can't ignore her. Well, maybe "fat" isn't the word we should have used. Maybe big horse-toothed, Nicole-Richie-in-training virgin would have been more apropos.
We don't ever believe celebrities when they claim they've never taken a ride on the baloney pony. It's along the same lines as an effete and well-coifed male star claiming he's never chowed down on dong. Everyone in Hollywood is having sex all the time. Just look at Victoria Silvstedt. She couldn't even wait to get inside. Not that she's really part of Hollywood, per se, but there is some sort of famous aura to her, even if we have no freaking clue why. But we digress. Back to the big stinkin' virgin. She told Elle:
Itís harder having a boyfriend whoís older because people just assume. But (virginity) is definitely something I like about myself. It doesnít mean I havenít thought about sex, because everyone I know has had it and you want to fit in.
We bet Hilary's just waiting for the perfect night when she and bad boy boyfriend Joel Madden will go to the spring dance together in his Porsche, and even though there will be a minor setback when she discovers that she's wearing the same black dress with a big white bow across the chest as Lindsay Lohan, the night will end wonderfully, with Joel renting them a hotel room and using his vast sexual knowledge to gently take her lady flower. But watch out, Hil, cause there will be the inevitable backlash from conservative Christian groups and an unfortunate pregnancy scare, but you'll get through it, and Joel will love you forever, except for that brief time when you and Lindsay are both in love with him and he just can't decide who he should be with. But in the end you'll move to China with your parents, and you'll have a lovely life.
If Hilary really does turn out like Brenda, maybe she'll have a fall from grace and end up all naked at MrSkin.com too.
