Lindsay Lohan had her Birkin bag, stuffed full of precious jewels and special nasally-administered pharmaceuticals (her asthma meds, fool!) filched from her cart at Heathrow Airport yesterday afternoon.
Ooooh, are those tears, Lindy? Huh? You feelin' real bad, there? Feelin' sad that your fancy, $3,000 handbag crammed with sparkly girly stuff was snatched from right under your nose? That's right, cry! Cry, little baby! Go 'head and cry for us! Waaah! Waaaah! Waaah! Why you hittin' yourself? Why you hittin' yourself, Lohan? Stop hittin' yourself!
We're heaving a big sigh here because frankly, we're burned out on Lindsay Lohan and her tomfoolery. How many more Firecrotch and cocaine jokes can a mortal blog make before the breaking point?
So. Lohan was flying into London to promote her movie Bobby at the Venice Film Festival. She had her bag stolen, and it contained (according to Leslie Sloan Zelnick) $1 million worth of jewels, asthma medication, her passport, an expensive cashmere sweater and an undisclosed sum of cash. But rest easy, pals, the bag was recovered today. According to TMZ, London police found the wily Birkin, although it isn't clear what, if anything, is missing from the snatched purse.
And speaking of snatch puss, remember those pictures from the other day? You know the ones. The ones with the green dress and the shorn pubis? Yes, these ones. And then remember how the "real, unPhotoshopped" ones came out, with the pink panties? Well, in a head-spinning turn of events, screencaps of the real, original photos by the real, original photographer (Daniele Venturelli) have surfaced, and the commando picture was the real one. God, we're so confused. What is up and what is down? What is day and what is night? Is it real or is it Memorex? Suppose we'll just believe that the vag picture is the real deal, until another picture is leaked tomorrow claiming to be the original and depicting Lohan's vagina with a wig and a face drawn on it like a SeÒor Wences puppet.
Lohan lookin' lusty at MrSkin.com.
