So apparently, Lindsay Lohan recently (well, within the past few months) showed up for a magazine photo shoot all zorked out on goofballs, and had an extremely difficult time keeping her business contained inside her clothing. The magazine, Pop, was forced to scrap the entire spread (pun intended) instead of foisting her fiery crotch upon a vagina-weary public again.
Holy Moly has the story:
You may notice that the current cover of ëPopí magazine features a male model, but this was not meant to be the case. After all, the magazine had spent a small fortune on acquiring Lindsay Lohan (who was in that ëHerbieí movie, we believe) as a cover star.
What could have gone wrong? It turned out to be a re-fuelling problem for the Hollywood starlet, who turned up to the photo shoot somewhat the worse for wear.
The shy, retiring young lady insisted on being topless in almost every shot, demanding that her bangers be photographed for posterity. A couple of hours later, photographers Mert and Marcus were left with a series of shots of Lohanís lollipops and little else. Luckily, there were two shots in which the strumpet had failed to thrust her breasts into the lens and the pics were totally without nipples.
Unfortunately, those two shots contained rather graphic illustrations of the entrance to Lindsayís womb. She is famously being fond of waving her lady bits to the camera, much as a family butcher takes pride in his neatly organised but undeniably meaty window display.
Damage limitation time. Lohanís publicist, Leslie Sloane, (who also represents acting scarecrow Nicole Kidman) phoned the magazine the very next morning and told the editor that if any of these pictures saw the light of day, said editor would ìnever work in Hollywood again.î
We'll make the obvious observation about all of us having seen Lohan's mams and clam fifty-three times already and get it out of the way. Now let's talk about the glorious angel from heaven Leslie Sloane Zelnick and how she's the total god of us. Normal publicists would perhaps suggest that a headline or graphic go over the offending female parts and then release a statement like, "My client is very proud of the work she did with Pop magazine. The photographs were extremely creative and artistic." Not our LSZ. She pulls the "you'll never eat lunch in this town again" line, which is somewhere between "Don't you know who I am?" and "I can have you killed." We also heard she can bench twice her weight, packs a glock in her L'eggs, bathes in mountain lion entrails under the full moon, has a lovely alto singing voice, and brews her own beer. She's an American hero!
Thanks to Egotastic! for the picture of Lindsay Lohan conveniently forgetting to button up her shirt the other night. There's more where that came from.
And for some deep, tasty LL cleavage, head to MrSkin.com.
