We know that in your fantasies the catfight between Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Simpson involves your living room, a kiddie pool full of Jell-O, and bikinis, but in reality it just involves an unacknowledged round of drinks, an L.A. bar, and Hollywood hack Brett Ratner. Not quite as titillating. Ha! We said tit! We're twelve, sorry.
Lindsay Lohan has reportedly been dating Brett Ratner for a few weeks now, so either Bruce Willis didn't complete the job of exorcising those daddy issues or she really wants a role in Rush Hour 3. Either way, it seems he might be the nexus of a screaming match between Lindsay and Jessica Simpson. We're hearing conflicting reports of what went down on the night in question, but we'll go with Us Weekly's assessment, as that's as close to a Jell-O wrestling match as you're going to get. The mag's blog gives a sneak peak at what's in the next issue:
Sources tell Us that the reason Lindsay Lohan became enraged is because she sent over a round of drinks to Jessica Simpson and director Brett Ratner (After the Sunset, Rush Hour) ó who were sitting at a nearby table ñ and neither bothered to thank her.
Says our source, ìLindsay said, ëWhatís the matter? When your sister is around, you can talk shit about me, but now that Ashleeís not here, what are you going to do? Címon! Iím 19 and youíre 25. Say something, you coward!íî
At which point Jessica grabbed the front of her dress and pulled until it broke away and revealed the teeny bikini she wore beneath it. Then she grabbed Lindsay by the hair and propelled her onto the wet, sticky bar. Lindsay slid the length of the hard wood, soaking up fluids with her clingy white T-shirt, knocking martini glasses and beer bottles to the floor along the way. Once to the end, Lindsay jumped to her feet and ran toward Jessica, jumping on top of her and knocking her to the ground, where the two commenced grunting and hair pulling and boob-on-boob action. Then Brett Ratner removed his mask to reveal yours truly, who tried to break up the action but instead got horribly entangled in a starlet-on-starlet grudge match. Yeah. That's totes what happened. Now excuse us while we relive that moment over and over and over . . .
Continue your catfight fantasies with Lindsay and Jessica at MrSkin.com.
