Lindsay Lohan’s New Mark: Jessica Alba’s Husbo

lindsay-lohan-blows-kissWe just told you about John Mayer helping to return Lindsay Lohan to Sam Ronson‘s poon paradise, but not so long ago Lindsay may have been trolling for dick. Dick that regularly finds shelter in the womanly folds of Jessica Alba‘s crotch, no less. Us Weekly reports that LiLo was seen getting a face suck from Jess’s husband, Cash Warren, back on November 19th:

Soon after discovering one another at Villa, Warren and Lohan “ignored friends and just chatted.” The real trouble began half an hour in. “Lindsay and Cash started making out,” an onlooker tells Us.

“Lip on tongue,” the eyewitness continues, “It was raw. They were not shy!”

Another Villa patron that night gasped, “It was a shock to see the two of them kiss, but it was real.”

For her part, Lohan tells Us that the account is “absurd. He is married. I wouldn’t dare kiss him.”

Lip on tongue? Why does that sound so incredibly disgusting? We’re imagining Lindsay sucking on Cash’s tongue like it’s one of mama’s lollipops. We don’t think we could be more grossed out right now, even if this eyewitness had described Lindsay giving Cash a sloppy, slobbering nob job. Mostly because that would be really, really sexy.

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Kurt Fox December 4, 2009 at 3:13 pm

Please stop wasting bandwidth on this stupid excuse for a vagina….. unless you have a picture of her naked. My guess is that she will put a gun in her mouth before she reaches 30 and fix the problem for us.

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WeirdArchives December 4, 2009 at 9:04 pm

Never mind any pictures of her naked. If it was a few years ago back when she was actually in control of her life…well, if she was, she wouldn’t have been naked anyway. Ms. Lohan is in serious need of an ass-whooping and I have the feeling Jessica Alba might be the one dishing it out before she tears her hubby a new one for not keeping straight with his vows. (And why the fuck is he even screwing around with Lindsay in the first place? He’s got a hot enough wife, for Christ’s sake. If I had Jessica Alba as a wife, I’d never stray. I’d just find new and amusing ways to play with her. The sex DVD alone would be a million seller…assuming the damned thing ever got out. ;) )

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Eileen Robinson January 11, 2010 at 12:48 am

{Great reading.. Very good information here}{Lady Gaga Is hotter than ever, see for yourself!}{Nipple slip.. and vagina slips all over..}

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