Lilo Uses Twitter as a Weapon

lindsay-lohan-paris-head-500x402What with all her jewel burgling and pill-gargling and turdulous fashion designing, we’ve lost sight of what’s most important about Lindsay Lohan. And that’s that she’s a gifted actress and a true artist. Hahaha, just jerking your bird. It’s the fact that her palate is tuned to poon. We’re not sure if she and lover/hat stand Samantha Ronson are still an item or what, but Lindsay’s taken to Twitter to vent her frustrations with the Ronson family:

@samantharonson deson’t respond 2me b/c her fmaily will cut her off if she contacts me…They control the one I love&im incapable of making
about 2 hours ago from UberTwitter

Any sort of difference. I’m in love with her, as she is in love with me…but her loved ones-hate her brilliance&resent her happiness
about 2 hours ago from UberTwitter

We are positive that Lindsay is telling the truth. The Ronson family sits around twirling their mustaches, rubbing their hands together, and cursing any joy Samantha dares to feel. “Her brilliance! It is detestable!” declares Ma Ronson. “Truly, it is an abominable thing. How I resent her!” says Mark Ronson. And then they all put on their top hats and capes and go tie Nell Fenwick to some train tracks.

Look, here’s our Twitter! Let’s twat!

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WeirdArchives October 14, 2009 at 10:31 am

Right!

I’m thinking they’re wishing their little girl was Megan Fox’s bitch, but that’s just me talking. I’m still amazed how fucked up Lindsay looks now. No one could age THAT quickly, even with all the new designer drugs and all. Meth couldn’t do that to the human body in that short a time. (I could be wrong, though.)

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Inspector S. (CNW Admin) October 14, 2009 at 1:10 pm

While we love mocking the Lilo, we would love it even more if she would clean herself up.

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festie October 14, 2009 at 1:18 pm

Meth i hear u callin, but i cant leave home right now. me and the boys are still tweakin and I think i heard sound. the tweaks been cut with flour but its still ok to do. i know i heard some sirens,but Meth i cant stop u. Meth i cant stop u.

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WeirdArchives October 14, 2009 at 1:45 pm

Here, here, Inspector. The woman NEEDS to get herself straight or she’ll be just another dead celebrity that everyone will be mourning over for about a week and then forget about it inside of a year. I’d start by cutting her off from her friggin’ parents and under strict protective custody, the kind Robert Downey Junior had when he was on the brink. Suffice to say, it did him a world of good. Perhaps Lindsay would benefit from that kind of tough love.

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Jamie October 15, 2009 at 8:06 am

Jesus Christ, for her sake I hope that pic was photoshopped. She looks like she’s 60. That’s not the face of a 23 year old.

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pemeo October 21, 2009 at 8:58 pm

sam…please come back to save her life

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