Lindsay Lohan was released from prison early due to overcrowding and good behavior, and now it looks like she’ll be released from rehab early as well. Why? According to a new interview with Lindsay’s creepy orange mom, it’s because the entire universe has a vendetta against her luminous genius of a child and she’s not supposed to be in there in the first place. I hear that’s also why people were so mean to Mark David Chapman. In the meantime, in case you’re suffering from a bout of acute freckle withdrawal, Lindso is all over the new issue of Maxim, making that strange, lips-parted-knitted-brow look she does. It kind of looks like when my mom is trying to figure out how to send a text message. Here’s a sample of the interview:
What is your advice to others about how to cope with adversity? Stay true to yourself always. At the end of the day, you have to look at yourself in the mirror and be content with the choices you’ve made, and will make, in your life. Go with your gut!
Because going with her gut has worked out so well for Lindsay these past six years.
Lindsay’s brain: “I don’t know. I’m thinking maybe getting drunk, blowing a few rails, then stealing an SUV and crashing it in to a curb might not be the best idea.”
Lindsay’s gut: “Actually, doll, it’s a real peach of a plan, ya see?”
Lindsay’s brain: “Your wisecracking 1930s slang has convinced me. Let’s roll.”
See Lindsay Lohan at MrSkin.com
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Show us the firecrotch!!!
Seems a lot like not taking all of your antibiotics. Instead of killing off the Coke-headedness, you create as Super Coke-Head, resistant to all previously known cures.
She wasn’t even in there long enough for the spray-on tan to fade.
I vote meh 1 point!
when people like her are extemely HATED by the american society they try to please MEN by sy showing TITS & ASS!!
Didn’t work for Ms. Tequila, even if the fans of Insane Clown Posse aren’t technically ‘Americans’.
No one wants to hear clichéd platitudes from an over-privileged idiot like you. Just shut up and take your clothes off or go away.
its to bad dina is such an incompetent parent that she couldnt even fuck her child up the right way. given dinas parenting skills and the actions of said child, the outcome should have been a career in porn. instead we just have a complete fucking mess with no real payoff. what the fuck!?!
Well, I’m sure Mother Lohan will have plenty of time to undue the hard work of the California Penal System. If there’s one thing that woman is great at, it’s fucking up human beings…especially those of her own blood!