You know what we like to do when we become really, really huge fans of a celebrity? We like to buy all their records. You know what else? We like to watch them on YouTube and download pictures of them. We even sometimes like to go to their concerts! Also, we like to stand in a line in a bookstore for over five hours to get close enough to our idols to sock ‘em square in the goddamn kisser. Like one of Leona Lewis‘s superfans.
According to The Sun:
A geeky bumpkin queued for five hours to meet Leona Lewis yesterday – then punched her in the face.
Shocked Leona screamed and cried, “Oh my God” as the buck-toothed nut caught her on the temple with a fierce right hook.
The vicious attack came as the “Bleeding Love” singer, 24, signed copies of her new autobiography Dreams in a book shop. The 29-year-old thug had bought a copy of Dreams and seemed to be waiting patiently for Leona to sign it at Waterstone’s in Piccadilly.
Witness Emily Rose, 21, who was behind him, said: “It was horrendous. He waited for Leona to bow her head then just lashed out – a proper full-on punch on the side of her face. She let out a piercing scream and grabbed her temple. Security piled on this guy and Leona just started running.”
Fan Steve Caris, 33, added: “This bloke looked like a nutcase. He was like a bumpkin, well over 6ft tall and with buck teeth. He really walloped Leona. She must have been in agony.”
CelebNewsWire doesn’t condone punching any celebrities (except for Chris Brown), but we can’t help but laugh hysterically at this story. Not because Leona Lewis was injured, but because of the descriptions of her assailant. A geeky nutcase bumpkin taller than a circus freak with bucked tombstone teeth. We’re surprised the witnesses didn’t give him a dowager’s hump, an eyepatch, and a hook for a hand.
UPDATE: Now with video!
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I’m just glad the woman got out all right. That could’ve been a lot worse. Martin Luther King had a similar situation, only the woman pulling off that stunt had a fuckin’ knife. One little sneeze, as Dr. King mentioned later after the hospital stay to remove the knife, would’ve killed him. That chum who assaulted Ms. Lewis could’ve been packing a lot more.