Los Angeles, you may have excellent weather and an exciting number of donut shops but your newspapers lie. Today, the L.A. Times claims that one can see the lip-biting, nose-sighing Kristen Stewart nude in her upcoming movie, which just debuted at Sundance:
In the drama “Welcome to the Rileys,” the “New Moon Saga” superstar portrays someone quite unlike “Twilight’s” long-suffering vampire-lover Bella Swan. That would be Mallory, a stripper-hooker with a penchant for wearing X-shaped pasties and G-strings (and sometimes no undies at all) . . .
Not true, says Mr. Skin, who would know:
Here are the facts:
Kristen does play a stripper and seems to show off her naked ass at the 33-minute mark.
But—and this is a bigger “but” than Kristen’s—we may be looking at the thong that has crept so far up her new moon as to give the illusion of nudity.
Check out this timeline assembled in the Skin Labs.
(0:33) As Kristen Stewart tries to entice James Gandolfini with a blowjob her bed, her dress is hiked up and it looks, indeed, that we are seeing her bare ass. There is not a hint of fabric in sight. But hold on.
(0:35) Gandolfini tries to cover up Stewart sleeping in bed the next morning. It looks as if we get another brief ass cheek shot when she moves after he grabs the blanket.
(0:40) Kristen finally wakes up in bed and as she turns her front to us we can see that she is wearing skimpy panties – so it looks as if she is wearing thong underwear.
Come on, did you really think Edward Cullen would let Bella go bare-assed? He’d grab her roughly by the arm and growl, “Bella. If I don’t keep you safe from can-showing, my life will end.” And then the would stare at each other for a really really long time. And then all the teens will sigh and dream of someday having a cannibalistic boyfriend who controls their lives and doesn’t ever have sex with them.
See Kristen Stewart at MrSkin.com
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Okay, everybody…let’s say it like we mean it.:
WE DON’T GIVE A FUCK, ASSMUNCH! If you were a better vampire, you’d turn her in the first book and save us all the friggin’ headache. If she wants to show her can, it’s her ass. (And I don’t want to see it, anyway. I prefer an ass worthy of watching and touching like Anne Hathaway or Jessica Biel.)
What i want to know is: Why doesn’t her boyfriend dry hump her to death every 28 days??? Could the buttfloss undies act like garlic in some form or fashion???
Probably depends on how drunk you are, I’m guessing. I could be wrong, though.
And then all the teens will sigh and dream of someday having a cannibalistic boyfriend who controls their lives and doesn’t ever have sex with them.
hahahahaha
so true.