We love it when we find multiple stories on a theme. Today’s theme: Kardashians (and Kardashian hangers-on) and bodily fluids! Yay! First up, the dude who knocked up The Short One thinks that he’s such hot shit you’d pork him even if he were covered in his own vomit. The unfortunately (or is that accurately?) named Scott Disick was overheard saying:
I could puke on myself and still be good looking.
If he were, say, Johnny Depp, that might be true. But he’s this guy. He’s equal parts Bruce Jenner (Kourtney’s stepdad, mind you) and Sport & Shave Ken. Not exactly People’s Seixest Man Alive material if you ask us.
Next up, Kim Kardashian gets peed on. But this time Ray-J wasn’t anywhere near her (unless he’s become a sneaky shapeshifter in simian form). Kim posted on her website:
I stopped by Katalyst while Ashton Kutcher was filming! They had this little monkey that the magician, Dynamo, made appear! I thought he was really cute at first, but then he peed on me!! Ashton said the monkey had pooped on him, so I didn’t feel too bad, haha. Gross little monkey! This magician was amazing, though. He did the craziest card tricks!
“There was this one card trick, it was so cool. He had me draw a card and then asked me what it was. I said it was the three of hearts, and he told me what color it was! Amazing!”
And lastly, here’s a picture of that baby, in case you care. Now, you might be thinking, “But wait. This doesn’t fall into your theme.” But you’re wrong. What are the chances that the kid is not sporting poopy drawers in those pics? Or the chances that The Short One has changed the thing’s diapers just once? We’re thinking pretty slim.
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